Why Having a Work Bestie Isn’t Just Nice To Have

October 20, 2025

We spend a lot of our lives working. Whether that’s in a building full of people or on endless Zoom calls, work takes up a huge amount of mental space. And while companies love to talk about “engagement” and “culture,” the truth is that the thing that makes most of us show up on our hardest days isn’t the mission statement. It’s the people.

More specifically, it’s having that at least person you can message after a chaotic meeting and say, “What the hell was that?” and they immediately know what you mean. That person is your work bestie.

What the research actually says

Gallup has been tracking this idea for years. Their data shows that people who say they have a best friend at work are seven times more likely to be engaged in their jobs and far less likely to leave their company. Engagement isn’t just a nice-to-have metric—it’s directly tied to productivity, quality, and innovation (Gallup, 2023).

But here’s the catch: only about two in ten U.S. employees say they have a best friend at work, and that number drops even lower for remote workers (AP News, 2022).

That’s a problem, because studies also show that friendships at work reduce stress, boost creativity, and increase innovation through trust and psychological safety (Dale Carnegie, 2023; PMCID: PMC9645324).

What a work bestie actually does

A work bestie is more than someone you gossip with. They’re the person who understands your role, your team, and your stressors without you having to explain them. They’re the one who knows when you’re serious and when you’re being sarcastic in a meeting.

Having that person:

Creates psychological safety so you can speak up and take risks
Reduces burnout and loneliness
Encourages accountability—you don’t want to let them down
Makes the bad days tolerable and the good days more fun

In other words, they’re a key part of your emotional infrastructure at work.

How to build these relationships

Friendship at work used to happen by accident. You’d bond over a broken coffee machine or whisper commentary during an all-hands. With hybrid and remote work, those moments are fewer. It takes more intention now.

If you want to get better at building authentic connections, one book I always recommend is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It’s decades old, but timeless. That book completely changed how I connect with people (both in and outside of work) and it’s just as relevant now as it was when it was written.

If you want a quicker recommendation than reading that book, here’s how to create those connections—whether you’re in the office or fully remote.

If you’re in the office

Lower the stakes.
Friendship usually starts small. Instead of “How’s work going?” try, “What’s keeping you sane this week?” It’s a better opening for real conversation.

Share something real.
You don’t have to spill your life story, but mentioning a tough deadline or a project that’s stressing you out can open the door for connection.

Include remote teammates.
When you’re chatting after a meeting, loop in the person who wasn’t in the room. Even a quick “Hey, we were just talking about your project” makes them feel seen.

If you’re remote (like me)

Use your tools differently.
Slack and Teams can feel transactional, but they don’t have to be. Start a casual thread about something non-work—dogs, coffee, “this spreadsheet hates me.”

Ask for 15 minutes with no agenda.
Message someone you work with often and say, “We’ve worked together for months and never actually talked outside meetings—want to grab a virtual coffee?”
It feels awkward once. It’s never awkward twice.

Send small thank-yous.
A quick “You handled that presentation perfectly” message builds trust fast. Remote people don’t get hallway compliments, so written ones matter more.

Create shared moments.
Celebrate wins, milestones, or even small survival events like “we made it through Q3 closeout.” Rituals bond teams more than forced fun.

For managers and leaders

You can’t force friendships, but you can encourage connection.

Model it. Talk about your own work friendships and why they matter.
Make space for it. Build in unstructured moments where people can connect like humans, not job titles.
Acknowledge it matters. Gallup found that when leaders simply say it’s important to have friends at work, employees are more likely to build them.

It’s simple, but it requires intent.

Why this matters

Corporate life already asks a lot of us. We’re balancing metrics, meetings, and “quick syncs” that are rarely quick. Real connection is what keeps people grounded through all of it.

You can have the perfect engagement strategy on paper, but if no one has someone they trust, you’re just managing spreadsheets of disengagement.

And for those of us working remotely, that friendship might live in a Slack DM titled “Our side Slacks could destroy careers.” And honestly, that’s fine. That’s culture too.

Final thought

We’re not suggesting you make a work bestie to destroy careers 😜...but having someone you can safely debrief with, someone who knows the players, the projects, and when you’re joking, can make all the difference between surviving work and actually enjoying it.

Whether that connection lives in a cubicle, on Slack, or over a shared eye roll during a meeting, it matters. Because the best part of work is rarely the work itself. It’s who you get to laugh about it with afterward.

References

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